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As a small business owner, one of the top things you can do to improve your marketing effectiveness, and win more clients, is improve your copywriting skills.

Lots of small business owners don’t feel they’re writers, but when you adopt a Marketing Mindset focus in your business, you realize that copywriting delivers huge payoffs to your lead generation efforts.

Today, a direct mail makeover, including before and after samples, from Ed Lyon and Keith VandeStadt of TaxCoachSoftware…

DIRECT-MAIL MAKEOVER

Over the last couple of years, we’ve published several “before and after” flyers and letters our subscribers have submitted to market their practices. We’ve focused on taxes rather than accounting services because — well, because we’re TaxCoach, not AccountingCoach. (Keith, does that smell like a line extension?)

Earlier this week, we got a letter from a subscriber in Teaneck, NJ who wants to use TaxCoach-style marketing to generate bookkeeping clients. We’re reproducing his draft here, along with our suggestions, to show how our approach works outside of taxes.

Here’s what our subscriber submitted:

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Do You Enjoy Doing Your Business Bookkeeping?

Most owners HATE bookkeeping. But, to save money, they:

1) Do the bookkeeping themselves,
2) Have their spouse do the bookkeeping,
– or –
3) Don’t do the bookkeeping at all.

Which owner are you?

If you:

Do the bookkeeping yourself.

You’ve made the most economical choice. But, it may not be your most profitable one. Here’s why. Doing your own bookkeeping takes you away from your most important business function, making money. Bookkeeping is extremely important but it’s not profitable. We can help! With rates as low as $100 a month, we are not only an affordable option, but a smart one. In addition to relieving you of bookkeeping so you can grow your business, we help you understand your monthly statements to make profitable business decisions. We quickly become an investment instead of an expense.

Have my spouse do my bookkeeping.

That’s a great strategy (as long as your spouse doesn’t mind). Are you making the most of that business opportunity? As profit experts we can help you save even more money on those tasks as well. While no one can guarantee income, we can guarantee you tax reductions on any profit that you make. If your spouse loves bookkeeping, take advantage of our tax coaching/planning service to see how you can save even more money using that approach (see our website for more information).

Don’t do bookkeeping at all.

The single biggest mistake business owners make is not doing their bookkeeping at all. If you don’t monitor your business, it’s very easy to fail. If you want to succeed in business, you need to know your financial picture. No matter how skilled you are at creating a product, providing a service, or marketing your wares, the money you earn will slip between your fingers if you don’t know how to efficiently collect it, keep track of it, save it, and spend or invest it wisely. Let us show you how and help you do it properly.

My name is (Subscriber Name); I am a partner with (Subscriber Firm). As a Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor, I can help you with every phase of your bookkeeping needs. More importantly, we are profit experts. We help business owners to increase revenue and lower taxes. We offer bookkeeping, payroll and tax coaching services.

Call today to schedule an appointment with us:

(xxx) xxx-xxxx

Let’s discuss turning your bookkeeping chores into a profitable investment.

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That’s a good start. Our subscriber identifies the problem, discusses how prospective clients handle it without him, and offers his service as the solution.

Now let’s take a look at our revised version:

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Do You Enjoy Doing Your Business Bookkeeping?

Most business owners HATE bookkeeping. But, to save money, they:

1) Do it themselves
2) Dump it on their spouse, or
3) Don’t do the books at all.

Which owner are you?

• If you do the bookkeeping yourself, you’ve made the cheapest choice. But it’s probably not your most profitable choice. That’s because it takes you away from your most important business function, making money. Bookkeeping is very important, but not profitable.
• Letting your spouse handle it is fine — as long as they don’t mind, and as long as they have the know-how and experience to help you make the most of the business intelligence hiding in your books.
• Not doing it at all? That’s the single biggest mistake business owners make. If you don’t monitor your business, it’s very easy to fail.

If you really want to succeed in business, you need to know your financial picture. It doesn’t matter how skilled you are at creating a product, providing a service, or marketing your wares. The money you earn will slip between your fingers if you don’t know how to efficiently collect it, track it, save it, and spend or invest it wisely.

My name is (Subscriber Name). I’m a partner with (Subscriber Firm) and a Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor. But more than that, I’m a “profit expert.” I help business owners just like you increase their revenue, lower their expenses, and cut their taxes.

Let me show you how to plug the leaks that drain your profits. Call xxx.xxx.xxxx today to schedule your free “Business Books Inspection.” I’ll show you how to turn your bookkeeping chores into a profitable investment!

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OK, what have we done differently?

• We’ve taken a good headline and added even more “oomph,” to get an even stronger reaction.
• We’ve rewritten it, less formally, to focus on the reader. Remember, “you” is the most powerful word you can put on a page.
• We’ve streamlined it, to help hold the reader’s interest (what Keith and I call “Hemingwayed”).
• We’ve strengthened the dangers of keeping inadequate books.
• We’ve taken the “pitches” out of the bullet points to better follow the “Problem — Agitate — Solution” formula.
• We’ve packaged the consultation as a unique service, by giving it a trade name.
• We’ve strengthened the call-to-action, tying specific measurable benefits to calling for an appointment.

Keith and I are always happy to look at your marketing materials. Let us help you turn your copywriting chores into a profitable investment!

P.S.— Looking to Improve your Score… and Grow Your Tax Practice Business?

Check out Ed and Keith’s Tax Coach Software Marketing Program…TODAY!

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